by jot and tittle

 A couple weeks ago, a young woman asked me, "what is your purpose?" it kind of threw me off. Ok, it really threw me off. It seemed a bit touché to say "to glorify God and enjoy Him forever" when she was looking for specifics. And I get why she's asking. My life does seem pretty random. Thirty-two years old, working on my BA, teaching music part time, working at a coffee shop part time, and living at least an hour from my closest family member. On paper it looks...well...it looks random. I get it. Kind of hard to pull a purpose out of the randomness.  I was talking to the Lord about it because sometimes, even for myself, the person living this life, it's hard to find a specific purpose in the randomness. Sometimes I wonder,  when I get to Heaven if I'm  going to have anything to offer God, if while other people show up with their kids, I'm going to hold out empty hands and say "it's just me." I mean, if He wants soldiers to defeat spiri...

After reading that title, are you singing the Phil Collins song from Tarzan? I was. In my head. During prayer meeting. The theme for prayer that evening was the 3rd commandment; you shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain . We bowed our heads and began praying around the circle. My dear friend sat beside me and prayed for her children and the children of our church. She prayed that they would never a know a day not loving the name of the Lord, that they would cling to Him and honour Him all the days of their lives. I went next. I prayed for my coworkers, so many of them living far, far from God, so many enslaved to sin. I prayed that they would know Jesus, honestly ask Him to forgive them, and then live the rest of their lives loving His name and bringing that Name glory. The same desire spurred our prayers, but the places we dwell in had a huge effect on how we prayed. And that's when that song from my childhood came to mind. The truth is that we are one family, my f...

 A group of woman sat around a table; laughing, sharing stories, teasing each other. It was light hearted, a refreshment after a day in the trenches of life. One woman was being teased quite heavily and good-natured laughter danced through the air. What a gifts friendship and laughter are. Then I caught a glance of the woman's face. She was politely smiling, but definitely not laughing. That good natured teasing had gone too far. It had hit a nerve. Her eyes were begging for it to stop.  The subject changed and the conversation moved on. Later, when I contemplated the situation (as one does laying in bed at night) I thought that was not our best work . The women around that table were women pursing God, women who love each other, women who truly want what is best for each other, women who know how to be an encouragement. However, in this instance, we chose to laugh over a subject we are not sensitive too, at the expense of another woman's comfort because she was sensitive to i...

 As I shared in my previous post, I've been working through the book "Psalms in 30 Days," which means every morning I begin with a Psalm, or two, or three. This morning the Psalms were Psalm 20&23.  May the LORD answer you in the day of trouble; may the name of Jacob's God protect you.  Psalm 20:1 CBS LORD, covenant keeping God, please protect me at work today, and protect my friend who is due to have a baby very soon, and protect my friend who is afraid. Thank you that you are our strong tower, our defense and fortress. Thank you that no weapon that is formed against you can stand, that you are mighty to save. You are good. Help us to see you and believe you, trust you and depend on you.  May he give you what your heart desires and fulfil your whole purpose. Let us shout for joy at your victory and lift the banner in the name of our God. May the LORD fulfil all your requests. Psalm 20:4-5 CBS Yes LORD, please fulfil our purposes. We are here to walk with you and...

I've been using the book, "Psalms in 30 Days," during my morning worship. Yesterday I read Psalm 11. It begins with the Psalmist declaring "I have taken refuge in the LORD" and then he asks, "how can you say to me, 'escape to the mountains like a bird! For look; the wicked string bows...When the foundations are destroyed, what can the righteous do?'" (verse 1-3 CBS). The wicked are taunting him, trying to get him to focus on all the bad stuff and freak out.  He replies that he's taken refuge in the LORD. "Why are you encouraging me to fear and flee? Why are you bringing me to despair by pointing out that the foundations are destroyed and then asking what I am going to do about it?"  The LORD is in His holy temple. The LORD-His throne is in Heaven. His eyes watch. His gaze examines everyone. The LORD examines the righteous, but he hates the wicked and those who love violence...for the LORD is righteous; He loves righteous deeds. Th...

 The Lord graciously made me with a happy disposition. My natural bent is joy. A couple years ago, however, something happened that shattered my heart. Due to the extreme emotional hurt, I was physically ill. I cried every day for weeks, then a couple times a week for months. For a long time I was sad. For years, the truest, deepest emotion I felt was sadness. When you live with sadness you get pretty good at carrying on. You live your normal life but where the world used to be full of colour, now your life is tinted by grief. If someone asked "how are you?" I could honestly say "good" because I was walking closely with God, but if someone had asked "how do you feel?" I would have had to reply "sad."  Psalm 66 became the theme of my emotional experience. "You brought us through fire and through water, you laid a crushing burden on our backs."  That's how I felt.  All the time.  Surrounded by fire and water, often burdened beyond wha...