Parents

There they are. You have them too. Everyone does. They are the people who told you “no” when you were little and then continued to tell you “no” as you grew up and then when you finally became an adult they told you “well, it’s really up to you” but what they meant was “no” and you just wished they said it out loud. However, they were also the people who fed your friends when they came over, taught you to do dishes, bought your first puppy, and make cake for your birthday. They are your parents and you probably won’t realize how much they shaped who you are until you no longer live with them.

This is what happened to me.  Growing up there were things I didn’t understand about my parents and things I didn’t like. There were times we didn’t get along and many times when we couldn’t stop laughing. I don’t think I really appreciated them until I moved out and I probably still don’t appreciate them as much as I should. One thing I found frustrating at times was when I would ask Dad “what do you think I should do?” he would look me straight in the eye and say “what do you think you should do?” This left the decision solely up to me and yet he would guild me with his questions in such a gentle and unsuspecting way that often the choice I made was the one he would have made for me. His wisdom in not deciding things for his children has shaped them into people who can now think for themselves and wrestle with hard questions, and yet he is always there to help us if we can’t seem to tackle it by ourselves.

My mother was just as guilty in this respect. I suppose one of the ways she most greatly influenced me was in hospitality. My mother is a “think ahead” type of person. Cookies are kept in her freezer just in case people come over.  Saturday morning was dreaded because we all had to tidy our house incase we invited someone over for lunch on Sunday between church services.  There are always ways to make a meal feed more people and coming home from a long, dirty day at work you could never be too sure who would be seated at our kitchen table.  

Besides these things my parents made their house a happy, welcoming, comfortable, loving home. They encouraged our imaginations by reading us bedtime stories and sending us outside to build forts. They held us when we cried and disciplined us when we disobeyed and taught us about God.  Now as I observe other families and see how they do things I realize that my parents weren’t perfect in what they did but the foundation they gave us is solid.

Now I tidy my home on Saturday mornings and try to keep extra cookies on hand. When people ask for advice I hear my father’s voice in mine, not answering the questions for them but instead asking questions. My parents have shaped who I am and I don’t suppose you will ever understand until you meet these two incredible people.

 I understand that not everyone has had the same blessings as I’ve had. To those who don’t have good parents I would encourage you to find a couple in your church that you can “adopt” as parents who will give you guidance and lead you in wisdom and love.

If you have been as blessed as me then I encourage you to learn as much from your parents as you can, forgive their faults and embrace their wisdom. They will shape you more than you know or imagine.