I recently read 2 articles that have been floating around facebook. One talks about what women want in a godly man and the other is about what men want in a godly woman. The first talks about how men should be honest, pure, strong, compassionate, and humble and the second says that women should be real, confident, beautiful (in spirit), and passionate. These articles were interesting and insightful if those are the only questions you want answers to. (and I did find that the one to men didn't really convey what I would like in my husband). But the real question for Christians is what does God want in a godly man or godly woman?
To answer this question in depth I would encourage you to read the entire Bible. If you would like a shorter answer please turn to 1 Timothy 2:8-11 and Titus 2:5-6.
We'll begin with men. In this chapter Paul tells Timothy "I want men everywhere to lift up holy hands in prayer, without anger or disputing." Matthew Henry explains that men are to pray everywhere; in their closets, around their dining tables, in the car, everywhere. They are to live in close fellowship with their God, talking to Him everywhere and being an example to those around them. Paul tells Titus to "encourage the young men to be self controlled". They aren't to be proud, but should use the energy God gave them in their youth with wisdom. God wants men who pray and are self controlled and if that's what God wants in a man, then that's what a godly woman should want in a man too.
Paul moves on to talk about the women. They are to dress decently and not be preoccupied with how they look but should instead be busy doing good works. They are told to learn, but to do so quietly without ruling over men (Timothy 2). Paul tells Titus that the older women should teach the young women to be self-controlled, pure, busy at home, kind, and subject to their husbands (assuming you don't have a husband you should be subject to your father and the leaders of your church). God wants women who are more preoccupied with heavenly matters than earthly treasures. Men, that's what you should want in a woman too.
You see (and this may sound strange) but it really doesn't matter so much what you want in a man or woman. Yes, some things are nice; if he has dark hair, if she's slim, if he likes to go for walks, if she can cook, if, if, if... But those things are not overly important. What you, godly young person, should desire in your spouse is that he/she is godly. You must both love God more than you love anyone or anything else. Before you make a list of qualities you want in your mate, perhaps you should seek out God's opinion. After all, the reason you are on this earth is to bring Him glory and the reason you will get married is for His glory; you might as well start out on the right foot by desiring (and being) the person He wants you to be.
And once you know what God's standards are don't compromise them. Yes, He works in us all differently and teaches us different things. One girl may be learning how to submissive while another is learning to be kind. But the point must be she's learning. Your future spouse does not have to be perfect (because then you will never get married) but she/he does need to want to be perfect because it's what God wants.
So as you live your life, live in the light of this question; is this who God wants me to be?
To answer this question in depth I would encourage you to read the entire Bible. If you would like a shorter answer please turn to 1 Timothy 2:8-11 and Titus 2:5-6.
We'll begin with men. In this chapter Paul tells Timothy "I want men everywhere to lift up holy hands in prayer, without anger or disputing." Matthew Henry explains that men are to pray everywhere; in their closets, around their dining tables, in the car, everywhere. They are to live in close fellowship with their God, talking to Him everywhere and being an example to those around them. Paul tells Titus to "encourage the young men to be self controlled". They aren't to be proud, but should use the energy God gave them in their youth with wisdom. God wants men who pray and are self controlled and if that's what God wants in a man, then that's what a godly woman should want in a man too.
Paul moves on to talk about the women. They are to dress decently and not be preoccupied with how they look but should instead be busy doing good works. They are told to learn, but to do so quietly without ruling over men (Timothy 2). Paul tells Titus that the older women should teach the young women to be self-controlled, pure, busy at home, kind, and subject to their husbands (assuming you don't have a husband you should be subject to your father and the leaders of your church). God wants women who are more preoccupied with heavenly matters than earthly treasures. Men, that's what you should want in a woman too.
You see (and this may sound strange) but it really doesn't matter so much what you want in a man or woman. Yes, some things are nice; if he has dark hair, if she's slim, if he likes to go for walks, if she can cook, if, if, if... But those things are not overly important. What you, godly young person, should desire in your spouse is that he/she is godly. You must both love God more than you love anyone or anything else. Before you make a list of qualities you want in your mate, perhaps you should seek out God's opinion. After all, the reason you are on this earth is to bring Him glory and the reason you will get married is for His glory; you might as well start out on the right foot by desiring (and being) the person He wants you to be.
And once you know what God's standards are don't compromise them. Yes, He works in us all differently and teaches us different things. One girl may be learning how to submissive while another is learning to be kind. But the point must be she's learning. Your future spouse does not have to be perfect (because then you will never get married) but she/he does need to want to be perfect because it's what God wants.
So as you live your life, live in the light of this question; is this who God wants me to be?
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