Soul's Bewilderment

The wisdom is so small
the need so very great
A heart full of pain and sorrow
and much to contemplate

A mind swirling with questions
but no answers are in sight
"What I am to do, oh God?"
but all is dark this night

Elijah heard a whisper
To Abram God did speak
Nathan came to David
Here all is quiet though I seek

Sin's victories ring
loud and long and clear
Bragging of their triumphs
At my soul they sneer

To see another now in sin
Glad to be stuck in it's bog
Makes me heart mourn
And keep asking "why God?"

"Why have You not touched them
And given them Your grace?
Why do you seem so far away?
Why don't they seek Your face?"

But heaven is quiet
my face bowed to the ground
I'm waiting for the answer
All is still above and around

God's timing is not my timing,
He is love, wisdom, and truth
In patience He deemed to condescend
An answer to this youth

"The secret things are mine,
dear child, let them be
Continue in prayer and obedience
And then leave the rest to Me."

A peace filled my soul
Because I know that He is right
God does all things well
Despite the sin we fight

He will work all things out
To an oh so glorious end
I trust the story He's written
Will be better then I could've ever penned

Comments

Body Image (1)

Contentedly situated in lawn chairs with our toes in the sand and the baby playing on a blanket at our feet, my friend and I watch her girls digging holes or running between the beach and the lake. Periodically, the girls run up to us to display the shells and rocks they've found. At one point, as the girls surround us, one of us adults comments on the baby being chubby (which she is, as a baby should be) after which one of the girls looks at me and says, "you're kind of chubby." She wasn't trying to be rude or smart, she was just being bluntly observant as children are. As I looked at I her and considered an answer, I thought of the baggage of body image that women have carried for generations, and I thought, I don't want her to carry this baggage too. I want better for her. I replied, "you know, being a little chubby is actually a good thing. Our bodies function better and it helps keep us warm." This deep lesson was probably lost on her as she s...

What Is Your Purpose?

A couple weeks ago, a young woman asked me, "what is your purpose?" it kind of threw me off. Ok, it really threw me off. It seemed a bit touché to say "to glorify God and enjoy Him forever" when she was looking for specifics. And I get why she's asking. My life does seem pretty random. Thirty-two years old, working on my BA, teaching music part time, working at a coffee shop part time, and living at least an hour from my closest family member. On paper it looks...well...it looks random. I get it. Kind of hard to pull a purpose out of the randomness. I was talking to the Lord about it because sometimes, even for myself, the person living this life, it's hard to find a specific purpose in the randomness. Sometimes I wonder, when I get to Heaven if I'm going to have anything to offer God, if while other people show up with their kids, I'm going to hold out empty hands and say "it's just me." I mean, if He wants soldiers to defeat spiri...

Back in Time

I pulled into the laneway of a home that I'm sure would have looked quaint if I could have seen it through all the trees. The sign by the road read "hanging baskets and railroad ties" and lo and behold that was just what I was looking for (I mean the railroad ties, not the hanging baskets). I parked close to the grass incase a buggy had to get by and slipped out of the red mini van. I didn't see anyone. That, however, does not mean that someone did not see me. I strolled over to look at the flowers to wait for someone to come out and see what the crazy girl with the pony-tail was doing on their property. A large dog, missing his right eye, managed to find me first and it was while I was petting this friendly, half blind, beast that the house seemed to spit out a young lady. She was wearing a long dress, an apron, and a head covering. She walked toward me with a smile and I recognized her from a singing I had gone to at the neighbors place a few months earlier. I ...

by jot and tittle

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