Skip to main content

Gifts; Being Tired

It is 9:49 P.M. I.am.tired. This week has been pretty intense, what with a strange kind of eye infection for the almost-three-year-old, school ending for my emotional-miss-my-teacher-already-and-I-saw-her-thirty-minutes-ago nine and seven year-olds, and to put a cherry on top of this week of crazy; the four-year-old has a black eye.

A.black.eye.

And it's only Thursday. With tomorrow being our first official day of summer holidays who knows what will happen?

I am tired.



My body is tired from getting up early. My brain is tired from listening to small children say the same thing over and over and over again (and when I hide in the bathroom they find me and say the same things over and over and over again only this time it's through the door). And my heart is tired from caring about four little souls who need Jesus and my friend who just found out she has cancer and what about that friend stuck in a bad relationship?

And you know what? I tell God I'm tired. And this is what He says;

"Even youths shall faint and grow weary, and young men shall fall exhausted;" Isaiah 40:30

And I say, yes Lord. You've got that right. I'm exhausted. I need a vacation. I need to just go away and stop caring so much about people and have a break. Yeah, I need a break. And a book. And some tea. And a servant would be nice too. 
And God says. "but they who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31

And it's as if God smiles a kind, all-knowing, fatherly smile and says. "I know you're tired. You're human. I made you out of dust. I am God. I know what is best and I love you. Wait on me."

I read those words...and I'm still tired (like I should be in bed...an hour ago). But some how the load does not seem so heavy any more. God understands that I am tired and weary and need a break. But even more than needing a break He knows that I need Him. If I never grew tired or weary would I depend so heavily on God? No. Absolutely not. John Calvin said that our hearts are idol factories and I know my heart is always a high-production-operation in this regard; my biggest idol being myself. If I thought I had no need for God I would not depend on Him at all.

So I am thankful for being weary because it makes His sufficiency shine all the brighter.

And it also amazes me that often, when I feel like my fuel is low and I'm on the brink, He provides for me a time of rest. In His providence I have next week off work. And while my schedule is quickly filling up He has also left me time to relax and be with Him. To wait on Him. To renew my strength.

For the weariness and refreshing I am thankful.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Body Image (1)

Contentedly situated in lawn chairs with our toes in the sand and the baby playing on a blanket at our feet, my friend and I watch her girls digging holes or running between the beach and the lake. Periodically, the girls run up to us to display the shells and rocks they've found. At one point, as the girls surround us, one of us adults comments on the baby being chubby (which she is, as a baby should be) after which one of the girls looks at me and says, "you're kind of chubby." She wasn't trying to be rude or smart, she was just being bluntly observant as children are. As I looked at I her and considered an answer, I thought of the baggage of body image that women have carried for generations, and I thought, I don't want her to carry this baggage too. I want better for her.   I replied, "you know, being a little chubby is actually a good thing. Our bodies function better and it helps keep us warm." This deep lesson was probably lost on her as she s...
Post a Comment
Read more

Surprise Sin

Over Easter weekend I had the opportunity to visit my grandparents. We caught up over soup and egg salad sandwiches and then migrated to the living room with cups of tea. Gradually the conversation turned to a couple young siblings from their church whom they've observed seldom fight. Sometimes these kids do get angry or annoyed with each other and then they fight, but that is not their normal relationship. My grandfather made this observation, "isn't that just like sin? You are living your life of obedience and then all of a sudden its like sin gets the better of you." It was a comforting statement coming from my elderly grandfather who has been walking with the Lord for over 80 years. Even as a seasoned saint, sin still creeps up on him. But it has also made me think quite a bit. Sometimes I am tempted to think that if I do everything right (regular devotions, get enough sleep, listen to good music, eat well, have Christian fellowship, exercise) then I won't fal...
Post a Comment
Read more

Delayed Grief

 Grief is a crazy thing. Sometimes you cry till you fall asleep, sometimes you're angry, sometimes you can't feel anything, and sometimes you're so, so tried. Grief is also unpredictable in that it can take a long time to heal...and sometimes it feels like its been healed and then you're crying on your way home from the grocery store and you aren't even sure why. Grief is not logical and polite and convenient. It interrupts our lives on its terms. A couple mornings ago I was thinking about how tired I am. I'm not weepy or angry or even really sad, just tired, and this tiredness is physical, mental, and emotional. Which surprises me because my life is actually really great and I haven't had anything in recent months to be sad about. However, the more I contemplated it,  I think the tiredness is a long term symptom of a deep sadness that I lived in a couple years ago. Which is the first thing I wanted to share with you. Maybe, like me, there has been nothing r...
Post a Comment
Read more