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Distractions From Prayer

Before bed, I am reading the Life and Diary of Andrew Bonar. If there was one saint from old that I could sit down with over a cup of tea, it would probably be this father in the faith. He was a Puritan, but he wasn't what you think of when you think of a stereotypical puritan. Andrew Bonar was kind, good with names, and beloved by children. When he went into the town to visit the people it was not uncommon to see children take his hand and walk with him. He was best friends with Robert Murray M'Cheyne, he wrote and edited several biographies and Bible commentaries, he longed for the revival of the Jews, he buried a young son as well as his own wife. He knew his weakness and he prayed. But most of all, he really loved the Lord Jesus. 

In reading his diary, I came across this section:

Often I have wondered that I did not feel the temptations of Satan more frequently and plainly. But now I discover his plan. For a long time, indeed for years, I can see that he has contrived very many days to prevent my praying to any purpose. His temptations to me lie in the direction of putting half-lawful literature or literary work before me, which I am led on to read at once, without having first of all fully met with God. In short, he succeeds in reversing in my case "seek first the kingdom of God." Lord, give me power to resist. Lord, from this day give me many victories where formally I fell under him. (May 9, 1864). 

This section stopped me because I can deeply sympathize with Andrew Bonar. I am not tempted to drunkenness or pornography, in fact most of my life is made up of comfortable joy. That is not to say that I never sin, (far from it!), but this stopped me because I am often, always, tempted to rush through my prayers and I begin many tasks and conversations without praying at all. 

And isn't that one of the biggest sins of all? If the first commandment is to "love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength" then isn't indifference to that commandment a great wickedness? Satan doesn't need to tempt all of us with "big" sins, he just wants to use whatever will be most effective to keep us from being with the Father. Bonar wasn't distracted from prayer by wicked or even mediocre things, he was reading good and helpful books. I am distracted from prayer by far more worldly things. 

There are many different tools that help us remain focused and actually pray, but I think the most important thing is to do just want Bonar did--ask the Lord for help. Lord, forgive my prayerlessness and my distractedness when I am praying. Forgive me for loving and longing for so many worldly things instead of just enjoying Your presence and communing with You. Please, warm my heart and make me disciplined in prayer, that I would love You with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. Amen. 


What I'm Reading 

    • Still working through J.C. Ryle's commentary on Mark.
    • Also still working on The Gift Of Home by Bre Coucette
    • The Gentlewoman's Choice by George MacDonald is my Sunday read right now.

What I'm Enjoying 

    • Banana muffins (see the recipe above). It says it's for banana bread but it worked very well for muffins, you just leave in the oven for less time.
    • Sleeping in. A while ago my wise friend told me that if I work nights and I'm not in bed until between 11:00 and midnight that I ought to sleep longer in the morning, and that advice as served me well. 
    • Matt Boswell's Almost Home album. 
    • This facemask. 

It is entirely possible to win against the enemy, it is possible even to kill the enemy, and still be defeated by the battle. Walter Wangerin Jr. The Book of the Dun Cow

 

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