Skip to main content

The Pressure is On!

The pressure is on! If you don’t have a boy/girlfriend there must be something wrong with you so get with the program, date someone, anyone, and be happy for the rest of your life! Or something like that…
A Lie
A lie has crept into our churches and it’s a lie many people believe. For some reason we think the only way to find true happiness is if everyone is nicely matched off with someone else, gets married, has a few kids, and lives happily ever after. You can’t possibly be the person God wanted you to be unless you share your life with someone else. That’s why every time you come back from a youth conference where you learned how awesome God is no one asks you what you learned about God, rather, they ask you who was there and if you met anyone.
The Problem with Pressure
The problem with this kind of pressure is that now, if any young person talks to a member of the opposite gender someone right away assumes they either like each other or are dating. This makes having communion among brothers and sisters in Christ rather awkward. I’m sure other young people have experienced this. It’s hard to be a good sister when others are trying to make you into a good wife and it’s hard to be a good brother when others are trying to make you a good husband.
The Truth
While the lie tells us we can never be happy without a spouse the Bible doesn’t point us in this direction at all. Now, before you quit reading and say “she has no idea what she’s talking about…she must be a feminist!” let me explain. The man with the most wives in the Bible, Solomon, was not content with his God and eventually turned away from Him. The man in the Bible who didn’t have a wife, Paul, learned to be content in every circumstance. He trusted his Savour and loved Him. Though getting married will, hopefully, not lead you away from Christ, if you are consumed with the desire to get married you aren’t being consumed with the desire to serve God in everything, are you?
A Word from the Catechism
The Catechism asks, “What is the Chief end of man?” and the answer, “To glorify God and enjoy Him forever.” God is the reason we were made and the reason we live and move and have our being. We are to glorify Him and marriage is just one of the ways by which we can glorify Him. I believe marriage is a good thing, but it’s not the best thing. The best thing is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. If you cannot glorify God and enjoy Him outside of marriage or dating, you will not be able to glorify Him or enjoy Him inside those bonds.
God Is Good
Ps. 37 tells us God will give us the desires of our heart. Ps. 40 says to wait on the Lord and then it continues to say that He has things planned for us which are too wonderful for even us to imagine. God is good. He is from everlasting to everlasting, King of Kings and Lord of Lords and we are fearfully and wonderfully made in His image.  
A Request
Here is my request; while I believe marriage is a wonderful gift, may we not forget Who gave it to us. May we live for His end and not for the goal to be wed. To our older, wiser family members in Christ we, the young people, ask that you would “spur us on to love and good deeds” (Heb. 10:24) and that you would encourage us to love our Heavenly Father first. We covet your prayers to not give in to the lie that the only way to happiness is for us to find a spouse. We also ask that you pray we will be content with our God.
An Encouragement
To my fellow young people I encourage you to think on God and His promises. God is great and He has your life planned out perfectly. This verse has given me great comfort. Hide it in your hearts and trust the Lord.
Ps. 40:5 “Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders You have done. The things You have planned for us no one can recount to You; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare.”

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Maybe It's Supposed to Be Hard

We want a whole, happy, calm life. We want to be healthy. In "crunchie" circles, people use essential oils, grow their own produce, and stop using plastics. In Christian circles, there is an idea, an ideology, gaining ground that presupposes a holistic, restful life is possible if one follows the spiritual disciplines of the desert fathers and mothers. Mysticism. Prayer, scripture, silence, solitude, sabbath, fasting, rest, etc. (If you're looking for a couple interesting reads on this topic you could see these books by Jefferson Bethke and John Mark Comer. ) I want a holistic, happy, balanced life. My kitchen contains wooden cutting boards and loose leaf tea. I begin all my mornings with homemade kombucha, prayer, quiet, and scripture. I do Pilates throughout the week and hold the Lord's Day as holy every Sunday.  And I'm tired. And I'm weary.  And I wonder if that's just how it is in this sin-soaked world as we run to Heaven.  After all, the Spirit tell

Being Single is Kind of Like Not Sleeping Through the Night

For as long as you can remember, you have been told that normal people sleep through the night. You've been trained to sleep through the night. The vast majority of your friends sleep through the night. Your entire family sleeps through the night. Everyone at church sleeps through the night. But you don't.  At first, a number of years ago, you were really frustrated about not sleeping through the night, and the frustration was compounded by people consistently asking questions as to your ability to sleep. Have you tried medication? Have you turned all your screens off before bed? Do you exercise? Do you drink caffeine in the afternoon? The fact of the matter is, you do all the things you're supposed to do, but you still wake up in the middle of the night, for apparently no reason.  You're confused and frustrated, so you pray. The next night, when it happens again, you pray. Soon, waking up in the night has changed from a time of frustration to a time of worship and gett

4 Ways to Help Single People

It is very likely that not all single people will completely agree with the list I'm about to share with you, because no two people are alike, but I've heard similar things from single people that I follow online and think it will be helpful to share these. If nothing else, let this post lead you to have conversations with the single people in your life and find out what would  be helpful to them.  1. Hug Them I'll admit, I'm not much of a hugger, but a few months ago another woman I follow recommended to her audience that they begin hugging their single friends and I've been thinking about it since. Now (due to a change in my life) I'm seeing certain friends more often than I had been, and I am also receiving more hugs; this is good for me . In particular, it is good for me that one of my guy friends often gives me a hug when I see him. I don't mean that in a sensual sense, I mean it in a brotherly sense. The quick hug he offers tells me that I am seen, I