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When We Disagree

We had weathered the upheaval relatively well--perhaps too well--because just as it seemed the dust was settling upon our broader society, a hurricane swept down upon our little church. 

I was reading the book of Job at the time (somehow it's always Job at times like that) and as I read God's question "having you considered my servant Job?" I could hear a similar question; "have you considered my little church over here?" What would God have said of us? See how they minister to their community. See how they are obeying their principles and consciences. See how they love each other. And what would Satan reply? They only love each other because they attend the same building, but if you allow me to bring in a conflict to separate them, you'll see how quickly all the niceness falls away. 

I don't know if that conversation happened, but I do know that our little church had a split just over a year ago. We held to our principles and obeyed our consciences, but we aren't all together anymore. 

The Bible provides all that we need for life and godliness and the Holy Spirit instructs us. From Scripture and the Spirit we can discern what is obedience and what is not. Sometimes it entails wrestling and sometimes the answer quickly becomes clear. Sometimes we disagree. If we are both reading our Bibles, praying, listening to the Spirit, and still get different instructions, what are we to do? What if it's so extreme that we can't be under the same church leadership anymore?

Disagreeing does not negate our duty to live like Christians. 

"Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." Eph 4:31-32. 1 Corinthians 13 makes it impossible to question how important God thinks our love is. In Romans 12:3, Paul warns us "do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but think with sound judgement," and in Romans 14:4 we are warned not to judge another man's servant. Galatians 6:10 tells us to do good to everyone, especially believers. 

Are you a Christian? Then you act like one whether your feelings are hurt or you disagree. (I am not speaking about clear sin issues. The Bible also tells us how to deal with those things.) 

Can I disagree, obey my conscience, and act like a Christian towards those whom I disagree with? Yes. Can I strongly disagree but still love the other person? The person whom Jesus loved first? Yes. 

I no longer attend that little church. There are people I left behind who love the Lord, are reading their Bibles and praying and obeying their consciences. Some day we'll both stand before our Father and give an account for the choices we made and for how we treated each other. What will I have to say for myself then? That my feelings were hurt and I couldn't comprehend how anyone could have decided something that differed from my perspective so I held on to bitterness and never spoke to those believers again? In that day, will Jesus look me in the eye and say "well, this story wasn't all about you, dear one, it was all about Me. All you had to do was follow the instructions I gave you."


If, a year ago, the devil made the point that we only love each other because we worship in the same building, I sincerely hope that my actions have proved him wrong again and again. I hope that God can still point to me and to others and say "see my children? They have been tried through this strong disagreement, and their relationships look a little different now because they don't attend the same church or submit to the same elders, but they still really love each other. On the other side of this, they look more like me than they did before." 

Satan wants us to fight and quarrel and murder each other. He wants to tear down the church of Jesus Christ, his archenemy. My dear fellow Jesus-lover, let us never give him the satisfaction. 

Our stories aren't really about us, or even for us. They are about a great and awesome God who came to save sinners. You are not your own, you were bought with a price. My life now must be all about bringing Jesus glory. The church is all about bringing Jesus glory. Yes, talk about the disagreements and try to come to a place of reconciliation, because this really isn't about you at all, the honour of our God is at stake. 

"We should count it shame to help the devil dishonour the church and the name of the Lord." Charles Spurgeon 


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