Soul's Bewilderment

The wisdom is so small
the need so very great
A heart full of pain and sorrow
and much to contemplate

A mind swirling with questions
but no answers are in sight
"What I am to do, oh God?"
but all is dark this night

Elijah heard a whisper
To Abram God did speak
Nathan came to David
Here all is quiet though I seek

Sin's victories ring
loud and long and clear
Bragging of their triumphs
At my soul they sneer

To see another now in sin
Glad to be stuck in it's bog
Makes me heart mourn
And keep asking "why God?"

"Why have You not touched them
And given them Your grace?
Why do you seem so far away?
Why don't they seek Your face?"

But heaven is quiet
my face bowed to the ground
I'm waiting for the answer
All is still above and around

God's timing is not my timing,
He is love, wisdom, and truth
In patience He deemed to condescend
An answer to this youth

"The secret things are mine,
dear child, let them be
Continue in prayer and obedience
And then leave the rest to Me."

A peace filled my soul
Because I know that He is right
God does all things well
Despite the sin we fight

He will work all things out
To an oh so glorious end
I trust the story He's written
Will be better then I could've ever penned

Comments

Surprise Sin

Over Easter weekend I had the opportunity to visit my grandparents. We caught up over soup and egg salad sandwiches and then migrated to the living room with cups of tea. Gradually the conversation turned to a couple young siblings from their church whom they've observed seldom fight. Sometimes these kids do get angry or annoyed with each other and then they fight, but that is not their normal relationship. My grandfather made this observation, "isn't that just like sin? You are living your life of obedience and then all of a sudden its like sin gets the better of you." It was a comforting statement coming from my elderly grandfather who has been walking with the Lord for over 80 years. Even as a seasoned saint, sin still creeps up on him. But it has also made me think quite a bit. Sometimes I am tempted to think that if I do everything right (regular devotions, get enough sleep, listen to good music, eat well, have Christian fellowship, exercise) then I won't fal...

Actually, I'm engaged

If you are a Christian you are part of the greatest love story every told to mankind. This story begins with God speaking and it ends with an "amen". It's found between the covers of this book called "The Bible" and if you haven't read it I suggest you begin immediately because you will be amazed at the love recorded there. If you are a Christian you are described as a member of God's church and if you are a member of His church you are also part of the Bride of Christ (Ephesians 5). You might say that Israel in the Old Testament was God's church and He made His love story very clear to them as well...though not because they deserved it. Song of Solomon tells the deep, intimate love of Christ for His church and the adoration of the church for Jesus; it's the story of how it should always be . Sadly, in a few books later we read a story that is heart wrenching. Ezekiel 16 is titled "The Lord's Faithless Bride" because this bride, t...

Delayed Grief

Grief is a crazy thing. Sometimes you cry till you fall asleep, sometimes you're angry, sometimes you can't feel anything, and sometimes you're so, so tried. Grief is also unpredictable in that it can take a long time to heal...and sometimes it feels like its been healed and then you're crying on your way home from the grocery store and you aren't even sure why. Grief is not logical and polite and convenient. It interrupts our lives on its terms. A couple mornings ago I was thinking about how tired I am. I'm not weepy or angry or even really sad, just tired, and this tiredness is physical, mental, and emotional. Which surprises me because my life is actually really great and I haven't had anything in recent months to be sad about. However, the more I contemplated it, I think the tiredness is a long term symptom of a deep sadness that I lived in a couple years ago. Which is the first thing I wanted to share with you. Maybe, like me, there has been nothing r...

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