Skip to main content

V-Day a.k.a. Singles Awareness Day a.k.a. What?



Christmas, New Years, and Groundhog Day are all over which means the next big holiday is Valentine's Day. Stores are manicured in pink and red with signs proclaiming "chocolates, roses, and teddy bears" (why any grown woman would want a teddy bear is beyond me but that's besides the point). In less than a week some people will be waking up to either flowers at their breakfast table, invitations out to dinner, or a rather upset significant other. And some people will be waking up to an empty, angry feeling. Both these groups will probably feel the need to share their experiences with the world at large via social media. If you feel obligated to shout out to all your Facebook friends about your love life or lack thereof I would just like to remind you of a practical verse found in Romans 12:15. It goes like this;

Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep

I'll start by addressing the down-trodden singles among us. I understand that you might be waking up today with nothing to look forward to. Nothing. All your friends are going out to dinner with their special someone and you will be at home eating macaroni and cheese, watching chick flicks with a box of Kleenex beside you. You probably feel unloved, not special, and like the entire world has something you don't. (This is a lie by the way, you are loved in Christ, He died for you which makes you pretty special, and so long as He hasn't called me home to glory I will still be here in my single state. So take heart, you aren't alone).



I'm not denying that it's hard. I am saying that letting your emotions get away on you and making you blue does encourage you to believe some serious lies and also to hurts your brothers and sisters. If you are angry about Valentines Day because you're single it could be that you believe;
  1. God is not good. He could have given me someone to love me by this point and He hasn't. He can't possibly be good or He would have fulfilled my desires and given me what He knows I want.
  2. It's not my fault that I feel this way. 
  3. I deserve to be with someone. I wish I had what she/he has and it's not fair.
  4. If I had someone I would be happy
All those are not true. So don't even entertain the thought(s). God is good. You can control your feelings, you deserve much worse than you have and God only plans what's good for His children, and marriage does not make you happy, Jesus does. 

The way it hurts your other brothers and sisters is that you are not rejoicing with those who rejoice, you are envying those who rejoice because you're selfish. So stop. God made marriage good and He delights in godly marriages. The natural precursor to marriage is dating and generally it's a good thing if people who get married are in love before they tie the knot. So be thankful that God is raising up loving, Christian families through the relationships of your friends so that the church will be built up. 

Now for all you love birds. The fact that you are in love is beautiful. Love is beautiful. Seriously. The most beautiful kind of love is the love Jesus has for us and it's compared to a husband in Scripture. But, no matter how in love you are and how beautiful it is you need to understand that for those of us currently not in love it can be a real struggle to accept God's goodness in our situation. Yes, it is good to be in love. But it's bad to post all over social networking about how amazing your significant other is and how you could never live without him/her and how it's the best thing that ever happened to you.  That's like waving ice cream and pickles at of a depressed pregnant woman and then eating in front of her. Not nice. 




Basically I'm saying we all need to be a bit more sensitive to each other. Single people need to be happy for their happily coupled friends and married people need to stop flaunting their love and acting as if the entire purpose of life is to get married. It's not. The purpose of life is to glorify God.

So in closing I'd like to offer some ideas about Valentine's Day for singles and couples. 

Singles; rather than sit at home feeling depressed perhaps you should go out and babysit for a married couple so they can do something without their kids. Or you could visit the nursing home and play games and chat with all the elderly people who used to be married but now are in the same lonely boat as you...perhaps even lonelier because their best friend is gone. Remember, widows are singles too.

Couples; remember your single friends. You can invite them over so they don't have to be alone or send them flowers or a card. You know who your single friends are. Think of how to make the day less painful. 

I think this day has caused Satan great delight in past years as he watches words and feelings fly between those bitterly single and those proudly coupled. What if this year we put away our own desires and thought about the most important love relationship of all; Jesus and His Bride? What if we decided to act as a body, love those who feel unloved, and delight over the goodness of God towards others? I don't know what will happen. 

But let's try. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Maybe It's Supposed to Be Hard

We want a whole, happy, calm life. We want to be healthy. In "crunchie" circles, people use essential oils, grow their own produce, and stop using plastics. In Christian circles, there is an idea, an ideology, gaining ground that presupposes a holistic, restful life is possible if one follows the spiritual disciplines of the desert fathers and mothers. Mysticism. Prayer, scripture, silence, solitude, sabbath, fasting, rest, etc. (If you're looking for a couple interesting reads on this topic you could see these books by Jefferson Bethke and John Mark Comer. ) I want a holistic, happy, balanced life. My kitchen contains wooden cutting boards and loose leaf tea. I begin all my mornings with homemade kombucha, prayer, quiet, and scripture. I do Pilates throughout the week and hold the Lord's Day as holy every Sunday.  And I'm tired. And I'm weary.  And I wonder if that's just how it is in this sin-soaked world as we run to Heaven.  After all, the Spirit tell
Post a Comment
Read more

Being Single is Kind of Like Not Sleeping Through the Night

For as long as you can remember, you have been told that normal people sleep through the night. You've been trained to sleep through the night. The vast majority of your friends sleep through the night. Your entire family sleeps through the night. Everyone at church sleeps through the night. But you don't.  At first, a number of years ago, you were really frustrated about not sleeping through the night, and the frustration was compounded by people consistently asking questions as to your ability to sleep. Have you tried medication? Have you turned all your screens off before bed? Do you exercise? Do you drink caffeine in the afternoon? The fact of the matter is, you do all the things you're supposed to do, but you still wake up in the middle of the night, for apparently no reason.  You're confused and frustrated, so you pray. The next night, when it happens again, you pray. Soon, waking up in the night has changed from a time of frustration to a time of worship and gett
Post a Comment
Read more

4 Ways to Help Single People

It is very likely that not all single people will completely agree with the list I'm about to share with you, because no two people are alike, but I've heard similar things from single people that I follow online and think it will be helpful to share these. If nothing else, let this post lead you to have conversations with the single people in your life and find out what would  be helpful to them.  1. Hug Them I'll admit, I'm not much of a hugger, but a few months ago another woman I follow recommended to her audience that they begin hugging their single friends and I've been thinking about it since. Now (due to a change in my life) I'm seeing certain friends more often than I had been, and I am also receiving more hugs; this is good for me . In particular, it is good for me that one of my guy friends often gives me a hug when I see him. I don't mean that in a sensual sense, I mean it in a brotherly sense. The quick hug he offers tells me that I am seen, I
Post a Comment
Read more